Browngirl Speaks

I’m spending quite a bit of time at my other blog: oatmeal and raisins. This is our “official” homeschool blog. We’re in our second week and I’m already spent but I press on. I always knew if I were to ever teach it would have to be college students, maybe high school seniors, and I’ve proven myself to be RIGHT! My patience is lower and my expectations are higher, exponentially, since it’s my own child.

So, anyone interested can head over to my other spot to see what’s up in mom’s kindergarten class of one. Of course, I’m still here.

that’s the title of a recently released documentary that i implore anyone-man or woman-having a baby, or thinking of having children, to see.  after i had my own unpleasant birth experience, i couldn’t seem to let it go.  apparently, i wasn’t the only person with a similar story.  i was watching rachael ray a few months ago and ricki lake was on promoting this documentary she produced and was featured in– the business of being born.  i knew i had to see this.  well, i finally saw it today and felt like someone had taken a chapter from my life. 

what this documentary is about is educating women on their choice to take control of their births and not let hospitals and doctors dictate this natural process that’s now so diluted with "designer deliveries" (scheduled c-sections) and unnecessary interventions.    it does advocate the use of midwives and doulas–definitely an option i planned to choose before i saw the film, if i have another baby.  however, i took more than that away from it.  women should not be afraid to question things, especially when dealing with a doctor, concerning childbirth.  this is what led to my unpleasant experience–not having the courage to question or say no when i trusted my body, God and nature.  so, watch the documentary, get educated and know you have choices…

i hope all the mothers have a lovely day of recognition and personal reflection on the hardest and most rewarding job ever…

i cannot believe it’s been 5 whole years dude!!!  happy birthday to the most beautiful and brilliant brown boy!!  i love you sweet pies…

yes, a stay-at-home-mom.  it is really strange.  it’s strange not "working for the man every day".  but instead, enjoying my wild child and getting my house in order.  why am i this person?  i am home educating and tired of the rat race to find a job.  when you do not have that sheepskin (i know college can be overrated, but it helps far more than it hurts), most employers do not even give the resume a thorough glance.  the ones who have and for peon duties would often find themselves saying "so do you like temping?  i mean you’re so smart and you’re really good with__________."  and i would proceed to scream bloody murder on the inside as it would not be the first or last i would hear this.  yes, i know i’m smart and no, i do not want to do this for.ev.er so that my brain will further reduce to nothingness from this meaningless activity you’ve assigned me you deem work.  if i had sent you my resume for a job i am qualified for and could excel in would you have called me? but i digress, i do not scream this at the top of my lungs and become the stereotypical angry black woman.  more importantly, as i’ve mentioned before, homeschooling has been tugging at my mind and heart for over a year now and the mr. gave his blessing for us to take the plunge.  so here i am, sahm i am…

i got one of those semi-dreadful calls no mommy wants to get about two hours ago.  semi-dreadful because it wasn’t the worst news, but still scary.  i was reading, as usual, and had dozed off when the phone rang.  i was so out of it that i first thought i had overslept and forgot to take zion to preschool.  then after two hellos, his teacher finally responded amidst background noise and voices that "the kids are all okay, the kitchen caught on fire, so we need you to come get zion".  no alarm in her voice, but that’s how professional and well-trained she is.  however, my "mom alarm" went off, all four sirens.  i was disoriented and almost puked, but i never stopped moving and was out the door in a whirl.  i was so glad there was no traffic and that i was not working, our home isn’t far from preschool.  the closer i got, the more nervous i became even though she said everything was fine.  when i pulled up and saw the firetruck and emt and lights flashing, i was dizzy all over again.  one of the workers was standing outside crying while loading her daughters into her mom’s minivan.  i patted her on the back and asked if she was okay.  she said she was just shaken up and, i think she said, freaked by not finding the fire extinguisher fast enough.  fortunately, the house next door that had once housed the daycare was vacant and the owner, i presume, let them in with the children.  the kids weren’t phased, naturally.  they were eating goldfish and graham crackers and drinking juice.  i signed zion out and they said miss ernestine would call everyone to let them know about tomorrow.  as we walked out, the tears i had been fighting were welling up.  i didn’t want to cry in front of z.  i did cry in the car, but once we were home i was fine.  it’s already funny to me that while i was about to faint in the parking lot, all zion could say was "mommy, i had fun with the firetruck"…

the cutest lil’ letters i ever did see…

oh yes! not only can he spell and write "apple" but he can spell and write his name and all of his friends @ preschool.  i’m talkin’ some serious names like zaccary, avery, tyler, cassidy, etc.  they change so quickly, it’s amazing.  just three months ago, i couldn’t get this kid to go stinky in the potty.  he could spell his name then but forget about writing it, it was like pulling teeth b/c he’d get so frustrated, but now look at mommy’s sweet pies…

#1

my sweet pies is about to make me snatch out my eyebrows and y’all know i don’t have much there.  he is going through pants like water.  not from cute little growth spurts but from crawling on his knees, flipping around like he’s a world class gymnast, and diving onto the floor.  i know, i know, he’s 4 and he’s all boy.  but he’s a bit too much boy for me at this present moment in time.  i just wanna know– where can i find some pants with some reeeeally durable knees?

papi (z’s name for my dad): "buy him jeans only"

me:  "he wears holes in those too, and after like two or three wears"

papi: "oh"

HELP ME! SOMEBODY PLEASE!

#2

is there anything i can do to generate some income as i am trying to stay home with mr. rough-n-tough to homeshool?  my household needs two incomes for the moment, but there are things pushing me to cease outside work sooner than i kinda planned.

ummm, only genuine, legal solicited advice here please.  thaaaaanx!

once again my most wonderful sister-friend suggested i blog about my son’s latest accomplishment and i said, "no, it’s embarassing".  then, this morning i thought, "so what?!".  i was mortified to tell anyone that my son is well over four was not completely potty trained.  he has been wet trained for quite awhile and even managed to stay dry through the night more than during the day in the beginning.  he just would not refused to "go stinky in the potty".  everything imaginable was tried and all failed.  i was at my wit’s end and starting to let my worse fears overcome me:  "maybe there is something wrong with him".  but there wasn’t.  he walked at ten months and his first words were "thank you" and in appropriate context without coercion.  this kid could be in kindergarten now and hold it down.  so, today, i will not let my own little insecurity keep me in silence anymore.  i am so very proud to say:

YAAAAYYY! MOMMY’S "SWEET PIES" IS WEARING BIG BOY UNDIES TODAY!

i was searching for books and lesson ideas in preparation to homeschool my son and found a cute packet to print about turtles.  somehow this reminds me of the first book that turned me into the book whore i proudly am today– frog and toad are friends.  now, i never fancied any amphibians, but i had little to choose from in the catalog we got at school to order books.  i think it was from scholastic, maybe, and i was all of about five or six.  i made a wise choice because i remember reading this book so many times and like it was the greatest piece of literature EVER!  it’s classic children’s lit. that’s all about true friendship. the stories were so endearing and remembering them made me a bit teary eyed over one of my few fond childhood pleasures.  i can’t wait to share this with zion jacob…